Cry Me a River of Gold

From what I can tell, the G-7 meeting in Boca Raton, Florida that starts tomorrow seems to be shaping up to become a real tear jerker and whine fest. Pass the tissues please.

Currency issues overshadow this meeting like gold on an Egyptian sarcophagus.

Many unhappy participants are expected to arrive, with strong Euros in hand, clamoring for attention and an explanation of why Greenspan didn’t give them a “buddy-buddy” heads up. After all, his secret agenda to weaken the dollar and inadvertently drive the price of gold and the cost of Euro trade up has left these leaders looking like passive observers.

Other than a predisposition to sudden bouts of pouting and crying, these world bankers are truly hurt. They sold all their gold at twenty-year lows, often for the mighty U.S. dollar, which is also coincidentally looking softer than usual. Let us sum it up: They have a strong Euro, no gold and weak dollars.

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(At PROFIT CONFIDENTIAL, we’re glad they don’t manage our portfolios. We liked last year. Our returns… how shall we put this… were golden. “Go Alan go!” has been our motto since we caught on.)

The other interesting supposition is that because Japan caught on to the secret weak American dollar policy early, it will have to take the brunt of the European’s displeasure.

This doesn’t seem fair because Japan recently drained its treasury, trying to stem an increase in the Yen’s value. Japan has seen a pretty bounce in the long bottom-dwelling NIKKEI, and is hoping and praying that the New American Bull can come visit Japan too. Soon. (It really isn’t fair; it hardly has any money left, no gold, and just other people’s resources to exploit).

The French and German delegates seem suddenly vocal about their currency woes. After the “freedom fry” fracas, I didn’t think the French had the courage to moan to the U.S. about a weak dollar. I guess they sold all their gold at record lows. The Germans were big sellers of gold at bargain prices, and their economy (the largest in Europe by the way) is performing, shall we say, poorly. They also are loosing manufacturing jobs to far-off places.

The Canadian delegate will be more than glad just to be somewhere that he doesn’t have to shovel snow and wear a 25-pound jacket. Sporting a bottle of high test maple syrup for his banker friends, he will complain about a strong Canadian dollar, but forget all about it when talk turns to hockey. After all, he knows there is more gold in Canada than probably anywhere else in the world. Set aside your hockey sticks and snow shovels… Get drilling!

When it comes time to pay the bill for the weekend, and you know they are going to eat like kings and sleep like princesses, the Europeans will complain about the food, the Japanese delegates’ credit card will be declined, and old Uncle Sam will step right up with his card and whisper to those within ear shot… “Hey this card’s got no limit!”

Here at PROFIT CONFIDENTIAL, we are bemused by all this currency wrangling. It is like some cheap parlor trick. Everyone watches what the one hand is doing while the other whisks away the worlds economies as we know them.